Time Alone

I was able to spend some time this past weekend to myself, so I headed out to Midway to get out of the inversion and check out the Ice Castles. Neither disappointed; the castles were amazing and it was nice to breathe the air rather than chew it. I also stopped off the side of the road and walked along a creek for a while; even with the white stuff on the ground it was beautiful and quiet – the only sounds were my feet crunching in the snow and the slow trickle of water at my side. While I am looking forward more than ever to warm and sunny weather, quiet moments like that help to better deal with the winter.

On a side note, I would be lying if I didn’t say that I miss time to myself, the time went by way too fast that day, and I would also be lying if I didn’t say that I feel incredibly guilty for saying so.  When you decide to have a child, as much as it kind of goes without saying - nobody bothers to mention that you will have near to no time to yourself, and that when you have time to yourself you will feel incredibly rushed to get back to your motherly duties. I have no idea what I would do without the support of awesome parents and in-laws to help out as much as they do. I will forever be indebted; no amount of “thank you’s” could ever quite convey my appreciation. 

I also got to spend a lot of time with Lailah, just the two of us. We went on adventures, solved mysteries, and made messes. She made me laugh, she made me mad, we had quiet moments and loud moments, happy moments and crazy moments. All moments that I wouldn’t change for anything. She sure missed her Dad this weekend though, and was glad to have him home. All weekend long, starting Friday when he left, she kept asking me if it was Sunday yet. She must like him or something. Either that, or she knew she wouldn’t be able to get away with things throughout the weekend that he would otherwise let her get away with. She’s sly like that.

Away for far too long.

I write this blog as a means of keeping hold of memories and the randomness of the year, and I have been absent for far too long. Since July? My heart sank when I realized it had been that long. Much has happened since my last post that I couldn’t remember if I tried. So, as a gift to myself (and a curse, because it requires time after all), I am going to make the most of being present throughout the year. 

January is a hard month to try and start back up. It’s gray, I feel uninspired to take pictures, and we are cooped up in the house most of the time. I do my best to keep Lailah busy with random crafts and things, but I would be kidding myself if I tried to make it sound like I enjoy this month. I crave color, life, blue skies and diminished pollution. I wish I could say I enjoy being outside as much as Lailah does, I loathe the cold and once I get chilled I seem unable to get warm again, it’s like I am stuck in a proverbial state of  freezdom, blood coagulated, joints stiff, brain fogged. Spring, where are you? Please come soon. 

Moments and Memories

I'm having one of those moments where I feel utterly overwhelmed with life. My mind is barking at me all the things that I don't find the time to do in a day, all the things I should be doing at this moment, all the things I said or didn't say in the past 15 hours - a laundry list of 'things' be them big or small - and most of it just stupid really. So, to shut my mind up AND complete one of the things on my list, I decided I'd update my blog. And in doing so, memories of the past few weeks have begun to arise and the voices have waned if but a small amount.

A few weeks ago Andy was without a job - for like 3 days. So, on my Friday off, we all headed up to Payson Lakes. Lailah had a blast playing in the water and it was fun to see her and Andy spend some time together. Lailah even got to spend some time with Grandpa Frank. They found a bunch of Airsoft BBs laying around and Grandpa patiently waited for Lailah to find them all.

 Ok, tell me that's not the cutest thing ever.

Someone LOVES water.

 Big smiles mean Big Fun.

Grandpa gives some pretty great spin rides, sound effects included.

Also within the past few weeks we went to the annual Dean Family Reunion, where Lailah partook of watermelon and diet coke, fishing for prizes, and searching for Acorn caps. Really, what could be better? She had a blast.

It feels good to be able to check one of the items off of my list of 'things' buzzing through my head. And it was nice to stop and remember that life isn't always about having things to do, and having a head full of static. Sometimes life is about stopping to remember the beauty of it all.